Did you know that it takes effort to be positive? Did you know that our basic human nature says that life is hard, things aren't always great, and that we CAN'T do it all? I bet you didn't think I ever feel like that....I get told that often. People think I have it all together, that my life is a bunch of sunshine and daisies, and I am always happy. Ummmm....nope. Hate to break it to ya, but that not the truth. My life isn't a life of perfection. I get grumpy. OFTEN. I feel like my world is spinning out of control. I have a temper. (Don't pass out! lol!!!) I have a smart mouth. I tend to be sarcastic more often than I'm serious. I struggle with wanting to sit on my tush and do a big fat bunch of nothing. I don't like confrontations. I don't like to argue. But I do like to be right. So, I'm very good at debate. I get my feelings hurt - although I don't get offended easily - and I take things to heart more than people think I do. But, with all that said, there is one thing that keeps my life from being a big bowl of "feeling sorry for myself". And that is: Jesus.
Jesus gives me a peace in spite of myself. Jesus gives me the hope that I can be better, do better, and act better. Jesus gives me joy that I cannot explain. Jesus gives me spankings when I need it (He speaks to my heart, if I'll take the time to listen!) and He gives me instruction on how to do/be/act differently. Jesus gives me grace to be who I am, on the way to who He wants me to be. Jesus understands that I am human in every part of me and that it is through Him I am made perfect. In and of myself, I am absolutely nothing. But, Jesus shines through me and is the light through which I get His perspective on this crazy thing called life.
Today I've struggled with a short fuse. I've struggled with the list of things I need to do, versus the woman who is tired of doing the same thing every day. And I know that He'll give me the strength to do those things I've been called to do, because....well, because I've been called to do them! Being a stay-at-home mommy is a calling. I believe that with all my heart. It's a 24/7 job that doesn't give me sick days or time off to sit on my couch and stare at the sunshine on the floor. I'm on my feet, working, all day - every day. And you know what? It's what I'm called to do. I kiss boo-boos. I spank bottoms. I am the enforcer of time out. I am the peace-maker between warring siblings. I am the book reader, the story teller, the puzzle-putter-together-er, the chef, the dishwasher, the bath giver, the personal stylist....on and on and on. But most importantly - I am the Jesus my babies see every day. And because of that I choose to speak life. I choose to be positive. I choose to lay my weariness down at the feet of Jesus and pick up His strength. I choose to love with His love. And I realize that if it was up to me, and to me alone, it wouldn't be possible.
My friends, lay yourself at the feet of Jesus, and let Him shine through you. You'll be so very glad you did. And when we fail at what we're working so hard to do, remember that His mercy is new every day. We get a brand new start whenever we ask for it. And for that, I'm truly thankful.
Love,
Kim
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