"I'm not a hugger"

Have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? (If you haven't, I highly recommend it. It is an eye-opener for sure! Click ) Well, he explains how that we all express and receive love in at least one of five ways. For those of you that know me, I'm sure you've figured out by now, I'm a "Words of Affirmation" and "Quality Time". What you may not know is that HERE to learn more about it.) I scored a whopping '1' on "Physical Touch".  That would explain why I'm not a hugger. I'll tell you I love you, appreciate you, miss you, etc, ALL DAY LONG. But a hug? Yeah....not so much....

It became apparent to me recently that my children, on the other hand, are fluent in the "Physical Touch" love language. And they don't take too kindly to my annoyance at being constantly climbed on! What I realized is this: my kiddos are exactly like their daddy. They speak and receive love via "Physical Touch" and "Quality Time".

So, my conundrum was established - 1) I had to either deprive my kiddos of love in a very meaningful way to them OR 2) suck it up and get to hugging! It was an easy answer. :) I chose option 2.

Now, don't get me wrong, I snuggled my babies - but I did it when it was convenient for ME. I loved on my kiddos - but I did it when I felt like it. It was a selfish love. And that's not at all the mommy I wanted to be.

Having decided to receive love from my kiddos the way THEY speak love, I found myself having to literally have a conversation with myself, in my head, that went something like this:

"Kim, go hug your kid."

Or maybe like this:

(as I was being climbed all over by 4 sets of limbs, snotty faces, and slobbery kisses)
"Kim, there will come a day when these very same babies won't even WANT to be in your lap. Learn to LOVE this!"

And do you know what happened? I BECAME A HUGGER! :) It's amazing how that when you realize it's not about ME and you DECIDE to be different, ON PURPOSE, changes happen. And it's soooo much easier than I thought it would be!!! I must admit, it took time. I didn't wake up one morning and just hug everyone in sight, and get super excited when I got climbed up by 4 little monkeys, but I've realized the comfort that can be found in a simple embrace. In the warmth of a slobbery kiss. In the quiet moments of an impromptu snuggle. I've discovered the dishes can wait, the world won't end if the laundry piles up higher than Mount Everest, or if the toilet goes another day without a good scrubbing. These moments, right now, are too important to let pass by.

I can only assume that I'm not the only person who has dealt with this in the world. So, if you find a piece of yourself in my story, I would challenge you to reach out - literally - to the people that care about you. Hug on them a little bit. Show them that you love them. SHOW them that you appreciate them. Try to not speak it with words every time, but instead say it with your arms. Be open to their embraces and let them show you, the way they know best how to, that they love you! Receive it and allow your heart to hear the words they are so passionately speaking through their arms - "I love you!".

So, the next time I see you and I reach out to hug you, hug me back! This whole "hugging thing" is a new thing for me! As I'm learning that it's not about me, that it's about others, I'm learning to let my preconceived notions of who I am go on out the door. And in it's place I'm learning that I am able to be more. More than I ever thought possible. More than I even thought I wanted to be, quite honestly.

And I have to say....I really like it.

Hugs and loves,
Kim