Default Response

"Hi. My name is Kim, and I have a default response of "No"."
"Hi, Kim." (The small crowd drones)
.....Okay, now what?.....

I've realized something. Something yucky. Something very ugly. And something that is holding me back from who God has called me to be. I seem to love the word NO.

No, we can't do that right now.
No, mommy doesn't want to play a game right now. I need to <insert task>.
No, I'm too tired.
No, we can't afford that.
No, I don't want to.
No, no, no, NO, NOOOOO!

Pretty ugly, huh?

So, in my quiet time today I had to really think long and hard about this. Why am I this way? It seems that if it's not my idea, if it's not my way, if it's not on my terms, I say "No". I don't do it on purpose, but I still do it. So, now that God has quickened my heart to this problem, what am I going to DO about it?

I have decided to give myself a challenge. I am going to completely eliminate the word "No" from my vocabulary for 1 week. I am curious to see how my life is different one week from today. I've decided I'm not going to start tomorrow morning, or on Monday, or on any of the usual start-something-new days. I'm going to start right now. Right this very minute. Including posting this blog - even though it means I'll have admitted to the world my utter ugliness and selfishness. But you know what? That means I'm going to be accountable. I'll have people who will be looking to see how I've done. I'll have people praying for me that my heart is completely, and forever, changed. (I'm starting to get excited!) I can't wait to see what God does in me. I have a feeling this ain't gonna be easy....but when is anything worth doing, easy?

So, in the words of a man I greatly admire, Richard Wright, "FIRE! ...ready, aim..."

Saying, "Yes"!
Kim